Developing Intuition: Part II:
Handling Fear

Fear is one of the emotions we'd rather not have, and it may be one of the ones for which we are most criticized, especially when we're children.

Imagine a child waking up screaming from a nightmare that a big dog with enormous fangs is chasing her? Her parents come running into the room, sure that a serial murderer has broken in. The child, still crying, tells them the nightmare. The parents say, "It was just a dream."

For the child, though, it wasn't just a dream; it was a big dog chasing her. If she closes her eyes, she can still see it.

I used to check my closet and beneath my bed every night to make sure a ghost wasn't hiding somewhere. When I told my parents I thought one was in my room, they told me not to be silly.

Children are highly sensitive to subtle vibrations. When their parents deny the messages of their inner senses, they feel something is wrong with them. The same thing happens to children who report the existence of invisible (to others) playmates, sightings of fairies, or communications with animals. If they don't suppress their awareness, they usually feel a mixture of guilt and fear about them.

"I Just Know."

A similar form of repression takes place when children try to act on inner knowing. A friend of mine was deeply intuitive as a child and predicted car accidents and deaths. His impression, after he learned about the power of thought and energy, whether negative or positive, was that in those childhood years he'd been picking up on vibrations. For example, he'd recognize that someone getting into a car had strongly focused negative energy or that someone was detaching from the physical plane.

He frightened his parents, who insisted that he stop making such predictions. Although he learned to suppress his intuition, he paid for it with years of unhappiness. When he tried to reconnect with his abilities, he experienced guilt and fear.

To perhaps lesser degrees, this happens to many children. Perhaps they don't like certain children their parents have selected as playmates or particular colors give them unpleasant feelings. When parents scorn these feelings, the child may disconnect from her own guidance and become afraid that to express and act on it will earn her more scorn.

Fear and Decision Making

Yet to not act on one's guidance causes fear, too. In making decisions, we may decide to choose the path that's least risky, but this path may also be the least satisfying. Look for those areas in which you feel limited, frustrated, and unable to move forward, and you will find a fear blocking you.

Some people try to push back fear, but it has a way of following you. I've found it more helpful to focus on the idea that fear, like any negative emotion, is telling you to connect to your deeper, wiser self. When you make that connection and realize that it will guide you to the decision best for you, you can transcend fear.

Unknown and Known Fears

Known fears include fear of spiders, bears, being alone in the woods, flying, driving, leaving a familiar location or job, of not having enough money, or getting sick. In general, they are tangible, as opposed to vague.

Unknown fears are typically vague. Some people are afraid of going to sleep because they fear being in an unknown state or they're afraid of nightmares. Religious or spiritual fears relate to the unknown, especially when people have fears of opening up to their own spiritual energies.

Any fear you can't concretely identify could be considered an unknown fear. As noted above, such fears may be messages from the intuitive self.

Sometimes an unknown fear falls away to reveal a known fear you were trying to hide from yourself; for example, you might feel uneasy about making a geographical move, without knowing why. After meditating perhaps several times, you may discover some material reasons for this fear. This then becomes a known fear.

I find it helpful to break known fear down into various elements. Taking the moving example, these might be: "If I move across the country, I'll lose all my friends and security. I might not find a house as nice as the one I have. I don't feel safe because I'm not familiar with the area."

Address each fear individually; this gives each less impact. In the area of friendship, for example, you might imagine yourself meeting new friends. You might come up with ideas for meeting people before moving.

In the beginning, fear may be stronger than excitement. Find one good thing about the place you are considering moving to. Maybe the weather is better, the price of housing lower. Give your attention to that one good thing. Once you feel positive about that, move on to another good thing. You can't force fear to disappear; it's a survival mechanism that will resist all efforts at force. Instead, reassure it by telling it you understand and appreciate its attempt to protect you.


A purple stone with black and white patterns, Charoite relates to the sixth chakra, where many of our limiting mental programs, including our fears, are stored. The color purple, among its other roles, helps to bring us closer to spirit by showing us that everything, even the thoughts we hold as true, can be dissolved and replaced with more empowering energies. It can help us realize that fear, like other automatic reactions, is a learned response.

The black in charoite grounds the purple ray and enables us to explore. When we can look at fear without emotional involvement, it often begins to lose its power. White, which represents the connection to spirit, helps to dissolve fear's grip.

Charoite helps to bring fear to the surface. It makes this process easier by also giving you a boost of courage and commitment to dissolve fear patterns. It addresses both known and unknown fears.

Meditating with Charoite

In meditating with charoite, place it on the third eye. Use the deep breathing method described in the article on feelings. After you've been breathing deeply for a while, ask for a message to help you guide you. You may not receive it right away. It may come in a dream or later on, while you're doing something else. The important thing is to let your inner self know you're ready to know. You may want to affirm that you're ready to open to your intuition.

Something this readiness comes in stages. It is rare that one goes from fear of intuition to complete acceptance of information from the inner self in one meditation experience. Allow yourself stages.

You might be ready for a small message, one that confirms the wisdom of your intuition. The next time you might be ready for a bigger message. Gradual openings aren't as exciting as instant transformation, but they're much better for the psyche and body.

Also, charoite can help you to discern those fears that are false and those that are true warnings from intuitive knowing. If you feel fearful, whether it's about walking down a certain street or about taking a certain route in your life, it's best not to automatically dismiss it. Instead, determine the source of the fear.

When you meditate with charoite, it's often a good idea to allow time afterwards to contemplate and incorporate what you've learned.

You can also enhance the feeling of relaxation by doing the following:

  1. Hold or place by your feet one of the grounding stones: hematite, smoky quartz, tiger's eye, and black tourmaline. Obsidian is not always reassuring, so I haven't included it here.
  2. Take Rescue Remedy prior to meditating.
  3. Remind yourself that the fear is a temporary feeling you're bringing up for release.

Helpful Flower Essences

Aspen and Mimulus, both Bach Flower Remedies, can be very helpful in fear-based issues. Aspen relates to unknown fears; while Mimulus is used for known ones.

Additional Resources

Fear: The Ultimate Roadblock

Release and Renewal: The Purple Stones

Bach and Other Flower Essences
Articles Library Links

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