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Healing the Healer

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While I was contemplating a series on healing, I did a flower essence consultation for a student in the Bach Flower Remedies course. She said:

"I am a Reiki Master who shouldn't be."

I asked her to elaborate. She wrote:

"I sailed through [Reiki] level 1. In fact I did it 3 times as I just loved the experience as well as meeting similar minded people. I then proceeded to level II and had the most amazing attunement. I know I was hugged by Dr Usui [the founder of Reiki] and my tears were overflowing for at least ten minutes. I wasn't sad, just so full of love the tears had to flow as a release. One month ago I took my master level and since then I have been ill with everything!!! I pulled my lower back muscles the day after. Then I had suspected shingles, everything except the rash. Last week I had sciatica and now I have the flu.

I have not done reiki on anyone since I took my master level and although I am working on myself and doing distant healing via my teddy on my back etc... I just seem to be getting nowhere. I now feel, although I have the certificate to say what I have achieved, it means nothing if I cannot heal myself. How can I give reiki to others and promote its wonderful healing abilities if I am sick all the time?

As I write this, I can see the self esteem issues coming through."

Putting on the Brakes

My client/student (who gave me permission to print her comments) identified her issue. Although she had a clear intention to be a Reiki Master, her view of herself didn't match her goal.

Because she was trying to be someone she didn't think she could be, she was both directing energy towards a goal and blocking it. This can have the same effect as driving with the emergency break on. You don't get anywhere very fast, and you may do damage to the physical vehicle. In this case, the result took the form of a series of healing crises.

A Reiki attunement at any level increases the energy flow, which in turn highlights such contrasts and stimulates a healing crisis. (The same results can come from taking flower essences.) My student was facing a crisis that anyone who wants to help others can encounter.

This can include the areas of:

Who Is a Healer?

I didn't ask my student what specific qualities she believed a healer should have, but I've heard others give their opinions.

A healer should:

  1. Be in perfect health
  2. Be the soul of compassion, regardless of the difficulties presented by the client/patient
  3. Be a highly evolved being (whatever that means to you)
  4. Always get results

Trying Too Hard

Sometimes people try to push through their resistance. They keep on plugging away, spreading the word that they're available for classes and/or treatments, but not getting a big response. Though their feelings of unworthiness don't prevent them from action, they do keep them from getting the results they want.

Others try to knock down the unworthiness barricade by overdoing it. They don't feel deserving, either, but they are determined to prove that they are. They give lots of free treatments to show that they really are healers. They say money means nothing to them; a true healer cares about healing, not about paying the bills. If they prove themselves to be good people, the universe will provide.

"If You Like Me, I Must Be Good."

In addition to those who don't feel good about themselves and don't do healing, those who feel the same way but do, we have those who decide that they need to help others in order to feel good about themselves.

Although we all could think of worse attitudes, this one contains pitfalls. When we feel this way, we basically try to get our self-esteem from others.

"I gave her good advice, and she took it, and it worked, and she thinks I'm a great person."

"I gave him a Reiki treatment, and the things he said about it really made me feel as if I AM a healer."

We all feel good when someone praises us. It's a problem to depend on that for your self-esteem. Many people drink alcohol, and some are alcoholics.

Getting to the Source

Depending on the praise of others for self-esteem might not be such a problem if it were always available. Praise, however, isn't on tap twenty-four hours a day, except from one source-yourself.

I believe that my student made the right choice in not doing healing work on others when she felt out of alignment with her deepest self and its message that she is (and you are) always deserving.

In order to help others in any way, we need to feel good about ourselves first. We need to take care of our needs and desires before we can attend to those of others.

In this context a true healer is someone who:

  1. Accepts that, like all humans, she is not perfect.
  2. Lovingly nurtures his own body and spirit.
  3. Recognizes when unrealistic expectations block true self-appreciation.
  4. Realizes that in a healing relationship, she is not the source of healing energy but a channel for it.
  5. Understands that ultimately the client is responsible for allowing in the healing energy.
  6. Forgives himself for sometimes forgetting any or all of the above.

When we let these standards guide us, healing becomes natural and spontaneous. In this relationship both our clients and we are healed.

Healing Helpers

Citrine is the primary crystal for fostering a sense of self-esteem and empowerment.

Smoky quartz is a useful supplement, especially for helping to develop a sense of grounding and contentment in one's physical body.

Clear Quartz, the mirror of the soul, can, especially through meditation, help to reveal our true and unlimited beings.

Kunzite helps us to make loving choices and can guide us to a sense of oneness with our inner beings.

Note: The following essences are all Bach Flower Remedies.

Larch is the essence for self-esteem and is the Bach Flower Remedy I recommended for my student/client.

Chicory is for those who attempt to fix the lives of others because of an inner lack they feel.

Centaury, sometimes as known as the remedy for the Cinderella complex, benefits those who give up their needs in order to serve others.

Articles in the Healing Series

These articles are in no particular order. Choose the one that first gets your attention.

Introduction to the Healing Series
Finding Your Peaceful Center Stress is a known cause of illness. Crystals, essences, and other tools can reduce it.
Mental-Emotional Balance: Where Healing Begins Anguish, guilt, anger, and impatience can lead to illness.
You the Healer Believe in yourself and allow the healing to happen
To Your Health: Talk to your body, and listen, too.
Thinking Our Way to Health Sometimes our beliefs get in the way of healing.
You the Patient Going to a practitioner for advice doesn't mean giving up your intuition and ability to heal yourself.
The Healing Crisis It can be a rough ride. Some suggestions for smoothing the bumps.


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